Aftermath
by nalimom
Summary: Beckett helps Castle through a tough time.


"I don't know, Lanie." Kate Beckett said into her phone. "I've never seen him like this. No jokes, no smugness. He took it really hard."

"He was held captive by a known murderer. That will put the fear of God into anyone."

"I guess." She sounded worried.

"Have you called him?"

"Yeah. He's not answering his phone."

"So, maybe he just wants some time."

"So, he always answers my calls."

Kate heard Lanie laugh. "Is that what you're upset about? Him not answering your calls?"

"Don't be stupid."

"Mmm hmm." Lanie replied. "Maybe he's just waiting for the right woman to comfort him."

"Good night, Lanie."

"I'm just sayin'"

"Good night, Lanie."

"Night."

Kate closed her phone and sat on the couch, staring out the window. She was very worried about Castle. There had been many occasions when he had been shaken by a case, but this was different. He was taking this very personally, blaming himself for not figuring it out sooner. He was feeling responsible for the future victims' deaths. He was probably visualizing his own daughter, like so many other men's daughters, lying on the slab in Lanie's morgue, and thinking he should have stopped him. She knew. She had been there.

She had to find him. She grabbed her coat and her keys and she rushed out of the apartment.

Kate started to drive to Castle's apartment, but suddenly changed direction. Instead, she made her way to the precinct. As the elevator doors opened, she breathed a sigh of relief. He was sitting at her desk, looking at her computer screen. She walked up quietly, sitting in the chair he usually occupied. She said nothing for a long time, waiting for him.

"I thought that if I looked into his past, his known contacts, his previous murders," he spoke softly, with no emotion, "I might be able to figure out where he would go."

She said nothing.

"He will kill again. We know that." He typed something into the keyboard and waited. After a moment, he pushed the chair back in frustration and ran his hands through his hair. "How do you do his every day?" He said it much more loudly than he intended. She jumped a little.

Kate stood and walked behind his chair. She placed both of her hands on his shoulders and started massaging gently. He covered her hand with his own, pressed his cheek against it and closed his eyes.

"Because if we don't, who will catch the bad guys." She said simply.

"But we didn't catch him." Kate's heart hurt hearing the amount of pain in his voice.

She spun the chair slowly, so he was facing her. She leaned down so they were face to face, her hands covering his on the arms of the chair. "You're right. We didn't catch him this time. Not because of anything you did." She cut him off. "We didn't catch him because he had years in prison to do nothing but plan. He had everything in place to lead us down the wrong path before we set foot in that alley." Her eyes were locked onto his. "And do you know what we were doing while he was planning to kill?"

Castle just stared into her eyes, not daring to look away.

"You and I were locking up a hundred other murderers."

A tear escaped and ran down his face. She placed her palm against his cheek and brushed the tear away with her thumb.

"We stopped countless murderers from having another opportunity."

"You did that. You and Ryan and Esposito."

"As much as I hate to admit it," she smiled, "I think a lot more clearly when you're around." Her voice broke a little as she spoke.

Castle stood up and looked into her rich brown eyes. "Your secret's safe with me." His voice was a harsh whisper.

As she wrapped her arms around Castle, feeling him melt into her, Kate was reminded of the last time she had heard him utter those words. It had been at this very desk after she had been forced to shoot her mother's killer. She had allowed him a rare glimpse into her emotions then just as he was doing now. She smiled and a small laugh escaped her lips.

Castle looked at her. "What?" He asked.

She let her arms fall from him, but kept hold of his hand. "We're a mess, you know."

He smiled. "I know I'm a mess." He took her other hand. "You're extraordinary." He placed a lingering kiss on her cheek.

She led him to the elevator, still holding his hand. "Come on. I'll give you a ride home."

"I don't want to go home just yet."

She squeezed his hand. "So where to?"

"How about a milkshake?"

"You buying?"

"You bet." He kissed her hand as the doors closed.


End file.
